How I Asked My Bridesmaids & Why I Decided Not To Have A Maid-Of-Honor

I’ve been so excited to share this post ever since coming up with the idea for how I’d ask my best friends to join my Bride Squad! After spending the greater part of January researching & reaching out to small businesses on Etsy, I decided the best course of action was to put each of my 13 Bridesmaid Proposal Boxes together myself with items found at Hobby Lobby. I’d then fill the box with a personalized invitation to join my Bride Tribe, along with a personalized gift & an added touch of something that’s very “me” to include.

If you search “Bridesmaid Proposal Ideas” anyplace, you’ll see a lot of cute options that have been done for those wanting to send out a formal invitation/gift. However, I had difficulty embracing any of these as a template for mine, as the last thing I wanted to do was spend x amount of money on item(s) that my bridal party will never use post-wedding (i.e. Tumblers monogrammed with “Bridesmaid” in glitter – yeah, noooo thanks.)

What was most important to me was the thoughtfulness behind of the invitation, along with the inclusion of a gift with longevity if I were to go that direction (which I did!) Once I came to that decision, the direction in which I put my Bridesmaid Proposal Invitation/Gift Boxes together led to super smooth sailing.

With the intended theme of our wedding venue in mind, there was no doubt in my mind that I’d incorporate the physical invitation as the message in a bottle. After locating all the items I needed to make this message/bottle idea come to life (thanks to Hobby Lobby), I was then able to shift focus on the personalized gift I’d be including for each member I’d be asking to join the Bridal Party.

I ended up gifting all my Bridal Party members a custom leather luggage tag with each of their initials from Leatherology. Not only are these gifts with longevity and intention, but they’re also something that will serve as reminders of this special time for each person without a screaming title to show for it.

Lastly, I finished the boxes with the addition of a small Air Plant purchased from a local nursery in my area – Guaranteed Plants + Florists. In fact, they special-ordered me 15 of these Air Plants in just the right size, as I needed something that would fit comfortably in the box. Another great thing about these lil’ guys is that they can travel better than any other plant out there – so I wasn’t as worried about them being shipped in the cold/dark elements for a week-long journey, should inevitable delays happen. Luckily no such thing occurred, thanks to my reasonable decision to trust shipping via UPS these days.

TIPS FOR PUTTING TOGETHER BRIDESMAID PROPOSAL BOXES


Don’t go overboard – keep it simple with a cute invitation, a personalized/special gift (not necessarily expensive, but meaningful) and something smaller that’s reflective of your personality.

If including a gift – make sure it’s something that can be used after the wedding period, a worthwhile addition to their homes or personal lives. Sorry to say, but no one will wear a shirt that says “Bridesmaid” anywhere in public except for the Bachelorette and even still, they probably won’t enjoy wearing it then. Do yourself & your friends a favor and gift something to be used time & time again, not just for one wedding season.

Ask in a way that’s true to YOU; whether it’s a purchased gift box or something you put together that cost less than $10, the point is to stay true to who you are when asking this special group of people to stand by your side on this momentous day. If you feel like you have to purchase something extravagant to please/impress your Bridesmaids, I’d reconsider who exactly in your intended party comes to mind when feeling the pressure to overdeliver. And honestly if anyone you intend on asking makes you feel like they’re expecting to receive something that qualifies as a generous gift-set, I hope you recognize that obviously large red flag before regretting such an invitation to said “friend.” Just my advice!

WHY I WON’T BE HAVING A MAID-OF-HONOR


Yes, I have two sisters who I could’ve easily given the co-MOH titles to but I didn’t. And there are several reasons why I chose not to have one – from personal experience of witnessing the hardships associated with the MOH title, but mainly because it’s far too big of an emotional/mental/physical job to place on one-two people to fulfill with limited direction.

So without putting the burden of organizing/planning/dealing with my direct stress on my two sisters, I decided the best course of action would be to assign each of my Bridal Party Members with planning tasks associated with the Engagement Party & Bachelorette. This way, everyone has the opportunity to contribute to the overall day & feel like their efforts are acknowledged and respected. Because at the end of the day, there’s a reason I’ve asked all of them to stand with me on my wedding day – each of them have added so much value to my life and I couldn’t imagine not having an opportunity to embrace each of their contributions towards this important time for me.

4 Comments

  • Reply Mia Reinhardt February 10, 2021 at 12:31 pm

    These are beautiful!! Would you be able to share details for how to design a wedding website?

  • Reply Heather February 13, 2021 at 4:50 pm

    These are so cute!! I love the message in a bottle concept!

  • Reply Shelbee on the Edge February 15, 2021 at 11:09 am

    Tilden, this is such a beautiful and very meaningful way to propose to your potential bridesmaids! I love how you were personal for each one. And your gift boxes turned out so lovely. Based on what I have seen so far in your wedding planning, I think you will have the most gorgeous wedding day ever! Thanks for sharing this wonderful idea and linking with me!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

  • Reply Ashley Strickland-Horne February 18, 2021 at 10:38 am

    Congrats again on the wedding. I think your idea is brilliant. I made personalized gifts for my bridal party as well. I didn’t have bridesmaid t-shirts, mugs, etc. Just some things I knew they would be able to use afterward..

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