How To Deal With Rejection & Negativity As An Influencer

Coat: Oasis (old, similar here) | Sweater: Coin 1804 | Denim: Levi’s | Loafers: JustFab | Bag: Rebecca Minkoff

One way or another, you’ve probably faced some sort of negativity or rejection during your career as an influencer. Whether it’s a nasty comment on one of your posts or being passed over for a campaign opportunity, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ll feel pretty down more often than not when pursuing this career.

But here’s the thing:
If it were easy, then everyone would be an Influencer.

Remember that your presence as an Influencer makes up a unique path that’s cut-throat with its demands & isn’t made for the faint of heart. Not everyone can do what YOU do & that’s something you should always remind yourself. But that being said, this career is full of emotional turmoil and vulnerability is allowed to be felt. After all, we’re only human.

I’ve faced several setbacks during my 6-year Influencer career, some harder than others to overcome. But at the end of the day, the feelings you’re facing are valid & most importantly, temporary – this too shall pass. But if you’re reading this while in the midst of a discouraging moment, here are some ways I help myself to feel better when I need a quicker antidote.

On Negativity:

Focus on the good that brings you up

It’s so easy to get consumed with a single negative comment over realizing how many good comments come your direction. Try not to let someone’s insecurity take over what’s important to you. There’s a reason people choose to follow you, and those are the people that will bring you up & deserve your attention.

Remove those who bring you down

Although I don’t encourage deleting comments unless they’re straight up rude & inappropriate for the naked eye to read, you’re allowed to remove those who make you feel less than ideal about yourself. I’ve unfollowed several accounts that caused me to fall into the ‘comparison game’ too often because it ultimately made me feel bad about myself. There’s nothing personal I have against the people I’ve unfollowed, but I know it would make me feel better if I wasn’t subjected to seeing content that didn’t spark happiness, inspiration, or motivation.

Don’t engage – Talk it out in a safe space

Back to negative comments or even if you get word that someone is talking poorly about you behind your back, DO NOT give them the satisfaction that they’ve gotten to you. This means resisting the urge to defend yourself by attacking back with aggressive words or equal negativity. You’re only adding fuel to the fire of someone who’s counting on you to lose your cool. Prove them wrong by either ignoring or killing them with kindness, then talk it out with your inner circle of friends you can trust. It’s good to vent, just not always advised to clap back publicly.

On Rejection:

Ignore your inner critic that puts yourself down

We can be our own worst enemies sometimes. I’m guilty of talking down to myself at times when I feel like I could’ve done something more to secure an opportunity. But this way of thinking won’t boost your self-esteem, which is your number one defense against moments of rejection. Practicing positive thinking & self-talk will strengthen your ability to bounce back quicker instead of dragging you down deeper.

Don’t think it’s all about you

Just because you’ve been rejected for a campaign that you thought you’d be a shoe-in for, that doesn’t mean its personal. You’ll never know the real reason why you’re not a good fit & honestly, it’s not worth consuming your mind over it. Additionally, you’re not the only influencer who was passed over for a said-campaign opportunity either. There are plenty of others who didn’t get the gig either, so don’t tell yourself you’ve been singled out. That’s NEVER the case.

Keep going – be constructive on what you can learn from the experience

Rejection is a part of life, no matter what career or path you choose to pursue. It’s inevitable it’ll be faced and probably more times than you’d like to imagine. Which is why it’s important to get real & be honest with yourself, to help secure more successful moments over negative ones. This means taking a rejection moment at-face, focusing on what you’ve learned from it, & finding a different approach to try the next time an opportunity presents itself. Rejection helps you to progress; without it, you’d never learn how to improve many parts in your career & life.


  • Reply Marta March 13, 2019 at 8:08 am

    Personally, I haven’t dealt with negativity yet as I don’t think my blog has grown that much for me to get nasty comments but I feel like negative and insulting comments are kind of a factor that tells you how successful you are, if that makes sense. The more successful you are, the more hate you’ll get and I prefer to look at it that way when I see that kind of negativity on other people’s platforms. For someone to go out of their way to write something negative your success must really annoy them. When it comes to being passed over or rejected in deals with brands, I personally have only dealt with that through emails and I feel like that makes it easy because through a computer, it doesn’t feel personal. But if that ever happens to me after having dealt with the brand in person I probably would feel a little sad after all that time and energy being invested in it. But I feel like as we grow, we learn to deal with these things and end up ignoring them eventually and at some point, it’s not even a big deal anymore. It’s what I hope for, at least.

  • Reply Maureen March 15, 2019 at 4:32 pm

    These are great tips for handling negativity and rejection. I haven’t experienced the former but have experienced the latter quite a bit. It’s discouraging at the moment it happens but it does built thicker skin. After all, you either give up or get back up. It builds character and for what’s worth, that is priceless. I have yet to experience a negative comment and when and if it does happen, I hope it just rolls off my shoulders! LOL Notice I said word, hope. Happy Friday lady!

    Maureen |

  • Reply Heather March 16, 2019 at 10:03 am

    I’m invisible enough on Instagram to not get any hate there, but I’ve definitely been rejected more often than not by brands. I just celebrate my victories and do my best, and let the rest go. Great post!

  • Reply Jacqui Berry March 19, 2019 at 3:57 am

    Fab advice, needed some of these the other week! Thanks for sharing on #chicandstylish Jacqui Mummabstylish

  • Reply TamiLamour April 3, 2019 at 11:33 am

    I am a new blogger. I really appreciate your insight on negative feedback and how to deal with rejection as an influencer.

    Keep up the good work!

    • Reply Tilden April 3, 2019 at 11:46 am

      Thanks Tami!! Really appreciate your kind words! xx

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