On Embracing Myself As An Empowered Woman

Natori White Feathers Bra - Basics, #MyNatori Campaign, Tilden of To Be Bright

Personally, I’m very happy to live in an era with so much change happening around women’s equality. This is a time where all the “set rules” no longer apply. From the power of a woman’s voice being heard & respected, shattering the glass ceiling that once kept her quiet – to someone like me, who was able to quit my 9-5 job to pursue a career of my own doing, calling myself the boss of my own brand at the age of 27. 

Empowerment starts with embracing yourself, inside & out. Although I’m empowered with what I’ve been able to accomplish in my career, the emotional feeling that comes with it wasn’t a natural one to obtain. I’d be lying if I said I was someone who rarely caved into the insecurities of being a woman. I still fall victim to those negative thoughts that creep in & try to shatter the self-esteem I’ve worked so hard to build up since adolescence.

But the head on my shoulders today is one that fully appreciates the body of the woman standing tall to rise it up. In partnership with Natori, I’ve been inspired to share the personal story behind how I’ve learned to embrace myself as an empowered woman today.

I used to be someone who was very insecure of her small chest, because I was surrounded by people that made me feel less of a woman. I remember it starting in middle school when some girls were hitting puberty & wearing a training bra meant EVERYTHING to a preteen. The insecurity started then in the locker rooms and followed me all throughout my teenage years & into my younger twenties.

I always figured I’d develop late, since I was the last of my friends to get her period (beginning of Sophomore year in high school.) Many women in my family on both sides have D-cups & slim-to-muscular frames. But as I approached my teenage years, my boobs remained small and I began to feel like I had less to offer when it came to the attention of boys. The reason for this was due to the surrounding conversation filling the halls of high school. My sponge of a mind absorbed all information that posed a threat to my “likeability” or attractiveness – in this case, boob size.

My small boobs would sometimes become the negative focus of forced conversations, where all it took was one person to point them out and poke fun at my “lack of womanhood.” It followed me to borrowing clothes, as it became an opportunity to say certain tops/blouses would “swim” on me because I was so much smaller chested than said-person. I hated the threat of being outed by my (then) social circle & as a result, I began to dislike the body I was in.

As I entered college, my focus shifted to stuffing my bra with those silicone inserts, or doubling up with a tight-fitting bralette over my existing bra, or wearing anything push-up along with exposing any degree of cleavage. The reason for this was due to the male conversations I would eavesdrop from. At one point or another, the size of a girl’s bust would be mentioned. Naturally, this translated into me having to do whatever I could to showcase I had the same potential & level of attractiveness.

Natori White Feathers Bra - Basics, #MyNatori Campaign, Tilden of To Be Bright

I look back at those moments now & laugh at the pettiness of it all, but I understand why it affected me so much during these times in my life. Those years are so tough for girls to go through, and the reality is that a majority of women will continue to feel reminded of it as they mature. If it wasn’t for my decision to quite literally start a blog, then I’d be facing & struggling the same degree of fear today. Little did I know I had set myself up for the biggest life lesson I would soon discover on my own –

Finding self-confidence & learning to believe in myself.

Choosing to pursue a career as an influencer isn’t for someone who’s afraid of risk. Although I was insecure about my breast size, I wasn’t intimidated of the hard work that went into turning my then-passion project into a full-time, profitable career. Because I wanted to see it through & make it a reality, I had to push out of my comfort zone to position myself as a fearless leader. In order to succeed, I was forced to leave all those insecurities and fears behind me, for they would only deter the mission & goals I’ve set for myself.

During this process of checking negativity at the door, I found myself becoming the confident woman I’ve always wanted to be in the most natural way imaginable. Those busy hours dedicated to my blog allowed me to pick & choose how I wanted to spend my now-limited free time. As a result, I started not caring as much about what people thought of me, because I knew what I was doing would ultimately pay off. I learned how to say no, how to demand the respect I deserved, and removed the things/people in my life that didn’t contribute to my happiness.

Natori White Feathers Bra - Basics, #MyNatori Campaign, Tilden of To Be Bright

This found confidence continues to build from within and becomes stronger with each opportunity I face with pursuing this career. The energy I put out there, stemming from that confidence, radiates & attracts the right kinds of people & opportunities I choose to associate with.

Yes, I still face insecurities as a woman but they’re not as detrimental to my happiness nor do they define who I am & how I behave. I’m surrounded with the most empowering inner-circle of people I could’ve ever imagined finding. We build each-other up while supporting every decision, opportunity, or challenge that crosses our path.

I wish I could tell my 10 through 20 year-old-selves that like the Feathers bra, the right people & opportunities will find you, support you, grow with you, and continue to build you up. That one day you’ll have the best group of girlfriends in the world and a boyfriend who loves your 32A tatas! But most importantly, that you will find a happiness within yourself that no one can compete with nor take away from you.


Thank you to Natori for kindly sponsoring this post. All opinions are 100% honest & completely my own.

To Be Bright

14 Comments

  • Reply Ciara May 29, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    Hey SC Sister!
    We all have our insecurities, but that is what makes us beautiful! I truly enjoyed this post, thank you for sharing your journey to self-love and confidence.

    • Reply Tilden May 29, 2019 at 1:24 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind words & support, Ciara!! xx

    • Reply Emem Nnamdie June 3, 2019 at 6:01 am

      You are absolutely right. The best statement for me is the title of Ceelo’s album some years back. It was named Perfect Imperfections. I feel like that phrase is the definition of accepting who you are and embracing it.

      • Reply Tilden June 3, 2019 at 9:10 am

        YESS!! Good call, babe! xx

  • Reply Ruth May 29, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    You look amazing! I think that age can help with self confidence as well. I used to be insecure with parts of my body when I was a teen or in my 20s and as I got older my view widened and I met more people and realized how many different people are out in the world!

    http://www.ruthyannie.com

    • Reply Tilden May 30, 2019 at 5:55 pm

      Yes! I completely agree with you, Ruth. Age and the awareness that comes with it definitely help to overcome comparison issues for sure. Those teenage/younger 20’s years are so tough! Happy to be out of them & thankful for where I am now, mentally 😀

  • Reply Jean May 30, 2019 at 10:30 am

    When I opened this post, I wondered why this woman was posting pictures of herself in a bra. Now I understand. I try to minimize that feature. One day years ago I went to work wearing a perfectly modest summer dress and the boob-obsessed women I worked with kept saying things like, “That dress really makes your boobs look big.” I went home on my lunch hour, changed clothes and put that dress in a bag for my next donations to the thrift store. We all have body issues, don’t we?! You look beautiful–and you would look beautiful with smaller, or larger, breasts.

    • Reply Tilden May 30, 2019 at 5:58 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with me, Jean! I’ve definitely been in a similar position in the sense of throwing out clothing that someone negatively commented on my appearance while wearing too. It’s so tough & sad that people feel the need to put people down, but that also goes to show how insecure they are in their own skins as well. Thank you so much for your kind words as well! xx

  • Reply Jana Style Blog May 30, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    Hey girl! You look amazing. It takes a lot of confidence to share your story and I think you are so amazing for doing so. We all have those insecurities and it’s funny how we make ourselves feel over them. You are gorgeous!!! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story. xo Jana | http://www.janastyleblog.com IG: @jana_meister #SCsister

    • Reply Tilden May 30, 2019 at 5:59 pm

      Thank you so much Jana! Your kind words mean so much to me!! xx

  • Reply April J Harris June 1, 2019 at 7:57 am

    Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly, Tilden. It really makes me crazy that women are still being judged on the size of our breasts in this day and age! You share a really important message here about just how unimportant this is, and just how important it is to surround yourself with a network of positive people who see past the surface and can help you achieve your goals. You do look absolutely gorgeous in the photographs, by the way! Thank you so much for being a part of the Hearth and Soul Link Party Community!

    • Reply Tilden June 3, 2019 at 9:09 am

      Thank you so so much for your kind words & support, April! xx

  • Reply Emem Nnamdie June 3, 2019 at 5:58 am

    Embracing who you are is part of growing up. It’s a wonderful thing!

  • Reply Cristina June 3, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    What a lovely post! Thanks so much for sharing 🙂

  • Leave a Reply